I knew this day was coming. The ever-present anxiety that has been lurking just out of my vision, just out of sight, for the past few months is jsut about to boil to a head. life comes full circle - Last nights coincide with first nights, moments crystallize and crackle in the darkness. Plans form and are ruined in a moment. Friendships are torn forever; but then again, that seems to be for the best.
Once again I am sitting at home on a sunday night, brainfucked, scattered and torn. My wallet is empty, my back hurts and I hate myself vigorously for not having more self control.
This is not the cause I champion. This is hypocrisy. This is madness. The preacher weeps when he realises he's been wiping his arse with the bible for the past six months. LSD is not meant to be used this way.
No more.
No more sunburn and spiders and arguments. No more pity for the ones who love you. No more wads of paper shoved under the tongue.
I need to get abck to work for a few weeks. Earn an honest wage. Clear the books, wipe clean the slate and keep my head down. There are plots afoot, and people will trample you to be a part of them.
New york is not my home.
1 comment:
I doubt anyone feels like home there.
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