Hotel rooms and lazy summer days in the pool. New faces, fresh voices and lsd on the side. Hot drugs, hot nights, hot girls. Motherfucking good therapy.
it's like that first cup of tea in the morning as day breaks, after the long night awake chain smoking and masturbating. Crisp, astringent and dark, the taste melts away the dust and cuts through the scabs in your throat and rinses the flesh clean.
and that's exactly what I feel right now. Rinsed clean.
Like, nothing happened. i didn't fall in love, I didn't get laid, I didn't get in a fight - There were no life altering or reaffirming twists of fate.
But then again, I'm starting to feel like there never were. Like I've been making a big deal out of fuck-all actually happening in my life. Like I've been tearing myself up and tying myself up in knots because I'm 'alone' - But this weekend I was still just as 'alone', there wasn't anyone hanging off my dick, or my words - There were just good people and better times.
I'm so far past this whole 'tortured soul' bullshit it's not even funny. Open apology to everyone in my life or that reads my blog - I'm sorry I've been such an emo faggot, and I'm declaring right now that I no longer give a shit about who you're dating or fucking or whatever so long as you're still a part of my life and you're still a friend and we can just get messy and let our hair down every now and then. Love is a myth, cut away the bullshit. Set yourself free and just smile more.
After all, it's free.