Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Game over.

This will be the last self-involved wank for a while; I promise.

But I've always tried to be a good person. Do the right thing. Sure, i might be an asshole, but I've never been a bad person.

But I am fucked, time and time again by the bad people. And I can tell myself 'yeah, don't worry, they'll get theirs'

but I don't have the patience to wait anymore.

I try not to hate people - But they make it so fucking hard.

I've put my friends through stress and struggle, financial debt because further down the chain, some shitheel crackhead has fucked me. And I could otherwise have covered that trouble on my own - Except that I have blown all my profits on taxis, nice clothes, drugs, drugs, MORE DRUGS and only about a third of that has been for myself

because i have so little self fucking confidence that I jsut throw money and pills at people just so that they'll pay attention to me long enough to actually take an interest in something Ia ctually have to say

they don't, they never do. They just get caught up in the whirlwind - basslines, strobelights, acid trips and nitrous comas - And I still go home, empty handed, no money, nobody to talk to.

I'd talk to my real friends, but I owe them all money.

Not anymore. This is going to stop now. I'm done. being the good guy hasn't worked. I have to be the bad guy. I'm going to go and get my money, and then it's over.

XX = it's the doublecrosser chromosone

I'm through wasting my life.


Pretty Hips. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pretty Hips. said...

What you should stop wasting is your intelligence on people who can't keep up anyway. Your image lessens amongst this new crowd of yours.

Guerrilla Mind-Fuck said...

See that's what you think. I consider you a great friend, i very rarely ask you for drugs or the like, and i try to give you some when i can. I have always found you extremely interesting, and am always up for a chat about something menial, or a conversation about something that matters. The problem is that whenever i try and organize something you have stuff to do with your "user" friends, if that makes sense.

But i am not having a go, I love you man, and I hope you come to realize the people who respect and admire you for the real you. I am one of those people. There aren't many of us out there.


stupid noob said...


Lokii said...

complicated situation