1. Insects do not enjoy tobacco smoke as much as I do
2. I should not attempt to clear a hornet's nest from my roof with plastic explosives
3. The fire chief's name is not 'Big Red'
4. He also knows where I live, and am not to be caught within 100 feet of a gas barbecue with liquid oxygen ever again
5. A box full of spiders is not an acceptable birthday present for my mother
6. Attempting to live off tequila and mi goreng for a week will results in me no longer knowing who I am or where I live
7. The above is not an acceptable excuse for informing my arresting officer that I am 'The Man With No Name'
8. K-Mart does not carry depleted uranium
9. Call-in radio competitions are not a soapbox
10. A petrol station is the wrong place to set off fireworks
2. I should not attempt to clear a hornet's nest from my roof with plastic explosives
3. The fire chief's name is not 'Big Red'
4. He also knows where I live, and am not to be caught within 100 feet of a gas barbecue with liquid oxygen ever again
5. A box full of spiders is not an acceptable birthday present for my mother
6. Attempting to live off tequila and mi goreng for a week will results in me no longer knowing who I am or where I live
7. The above is not an acceptable excuse for informing my arresting officer that I am 'The Man With No Name'
8. K-Mart does not carry depleted uranium
9. Call-in radio competitions are not a soapbox
10. A petrol station is the wrong place to set off fireworks
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