Tuesday, September 2, 2008

You're all up toy uor ears in it.

For reference, I use the term 'you' in a general sense, because the demographic of this poor excuse for a website is 90% overprivileged white kids bitching about how their favourite shitty band isn't playing at their town this tour and how mommy won't let me got to the prom.

The general satisfaction of a society is directly dependent on the needs of the individual versus the needs of the society. The problem is, most of you whining 'individuals' wouldn't know a necessity if it raped you in the eye socket. You need: Food, water, shelter. End of fucking story. iPods, mescaline, strip clubs - They're just frippery. Entertaining frippery, but frippery nontheless. Society, on the other hand, requires scapegoats, infrastructure, and a metric fuckton of cash.

Society can be defined as a pyramid - The widest portion, with the most people, is the lowest point - Working-class proles scraping just around the poverty line. At the top, with the tiniest proportion of people, we have the ruling class, the aristocracy. They're the bitches with all the aces. Problem is, whenever one of the top bastards takes a shit, it just rolls down the pyramid, until the proles are up to their eyeballs in a sea of the stuff. Eventually, one of the shitsucking bottomfeeders realises that if he throws handfuls of shit back at the top, he might be able to knock one of the bastards down the mountain, then stand on him in order to keep above the plimsoll line. Next thing you know, they're formed a "Shit Throwers Union" and have spent thirty million installing a malodorous puppet at the top of the pyramid, some corpse who somehow floated to the surface like some kind of morbid, faecal physalia physalis, his bribe-bloated belly used as a sail for the currents of methane to blow him up the pyramid, inch by fetid inch. This coprophilic travesty's name is RUDD.

Fifteen minutes after the final counts are in, the sewage soup is churning as every one of these VB-swilling taxtards masturbates furiously to the thought of a Labour government. Mob rules kick in. Your job's safe, but you know what? Your money ain't. Plus, the pyramid is fuelled by god-fuckingly retarded power plants, because nuclear fuel is apparently too risky. [i]Here[/i] is where the problems kick in. Ever cultured bacteria? I wouldn't think so, you're not as smart as me. What happens when you have a lot of the lowest-order life forms, and they go crazy with breeding because conditions are suddenly optimal? That's right. You run the fuck out of agar, very quickly. Infrastructure fails, especially with the sort of 'centralised funding' bullshit which means anyone can dig into the kitty for some petty cash to fund some road somewhere. Vanuatu, I think is popular this year.

Trust me on this - I kept sea monkeys once, and I forgot to feed them one night. I woke up at 3 AM, and they forced me against the wall and executed me with a Chinese-made AK-47.

So here's the message: Every once in a while, the social pyramid needs to be flushed out, otherwise the shit builds up and overflows.

Or maybe the message is that I shouldn't supplement my sea monkey's diet with PCP, human growth hormone and powdered plutonium.

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